Chalk it up to my mood today, but it’s about time we had some good old fashioned tough love talk about what leaders should immediately stop saying to their people, and what they should be saying instead to generate hope in the people who have signed up to be in their care.
I’ve read a number of internal communications documents in the past few weeks mostly from leaders looking to do and say the right things. Some have been beautiful and thoughtful- full of grace, comfort and hope. And some have been scarier than the smell of my teenage sons’ socks after 21 days of ‘staying in place’ on their ever-fouling feet. One employee letter was so frightening that I nearly took to my bed to snuggle with my quarantine blankie. None of the scary reads (I am thrilled to say) come from Corey Jamison Consulting clients, rather were shared with me by colleagues and friends who regularly send pitiful pleas of “my leader needs you” with a tone of desperation that rivals my recent realization that our WFH snack supply was gone.
What People Don’t Need from Leaders Right Now
In these moments where leaders are called to inspire, generate hope and well-being, it’s safe to say leaders should avoid the ding danged hippity hell out of phrases like “We are facing the most terrifying crisis we have ever known” and “No one is safe, no place is safe” because they just aren’t helpful. Like, not at all. They are the opposite of helpful, which in this case is not “unhelpful,” it’s heart-clutching terrifying.
Your uplifting, hope generating message should not read like a Stephen King trailer. It should not make grown adults flee for the mouth of the nearest mammoth spider dwelling grizzly bear cave, or want to dial their mommies. If you’re finding yourself addressing your team members with those types of openers, please get help. Because I know you’re scared- I’m scared too. And that’s okay. We can be scared together. But, for the love of everything holy, let’s not try to terrify the shizzles out of other people while we’re at it.
“But people SHOULD be scared!” you counter!
People already are scared. And frightened brains can’t function. The emotional/fear function of our brains can get so over-wrought as to render the cognitive workings of our brain to near helplessness. Moreover, when we are fearful our cortisol levels climb. This is good when the proverbial tiger is chasing us and we are prompted to run like hell to ensure the well-being of ourselves and our progeny. But a sustained cortisol level leads to irritability, weight gain, insomnia, headaches, and difficulty concentrating, at best. At worst, sustained fear can cause anxiety, depression, cardiac issues, severe fatigue and slowed healing capacity.
That won’t help anyone.
THIS IS NOT TO SAY that leaders shouldn’t be crystal clear about the importance of staying home, or protecting self and community. That is essential. AND, it’s critical to provide meaningful influence and inspiration wherever possible- to help the people in your care to breathe, and focus on what’s most important, and above all else, stay healthy.
What People Need from Leaders Right Now
What they need from you is care, as much clarity as you can give about where they stand with their organizations, and hope for themselves and the world around them. That’s your job, the reason for your ‘big bucks’ and why you were called to lead in this moment.
How can you help support members of your team? Your organization? How can you be inspiring and provide comfort, support and hope while they are facing something so scary and overwhelming?
Be you. Be human. Be honest.
Skip the platitudes, and just share what you’re able to offer about your organization's health, and that you care. Speak the truth you can share about your organization, then share what you believe in, what gives you hope as a leader and what you know to be true about the organizational values and the human beings you are leading, and what is unique, special and important about them.
You can say things like:
“These are challenging times. I want you to know that the things we’ve always said about our company, our people, our work remain true... (underscore values)”
“In times of uncertainty, there is one thing I do know for certain, that we will come back from this as an organization, and as a community of people who care about each other, who show up for each other, who help each other. Because that’s what we do at *company.*”
“When you’re worried, or concerned about the future, I want you to remember a time when you stood shoulder to shoulder with a co-worker and helped them solve a problem, or shape an idea, or create a new solution to an old problem- and you felt proud and like you were in it together. I want you to remember that moment when you’re feeling low, and know that it will come again. That we will stand shoulder to shoulder with one another in a future that is waiting for us to do good work together.”
Be you. Lead. And skip the scary.
